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Does Your ‘Relationship Status’ Matter to Interviewers, Recruiters or Companies?
In a day and age when a majority of the global companies around the world are striving to deliver equal opportunities to all – irrespective of their Religion, Nationality, Colour, Race, Gender, Age, “Relationship Status”, Beliefs, Sexuality, Family Status etc…, it is also a well-known fact that the first few questions asked by the Interviewer/Recruiter for decades & even today in almost all interviews require you to answer that crucial question – a personal question of your ‘Relationship Status.’
WHY? You may ask. Well, from a Company’s HR policy perspective, your family or relationship status may be needed for the company to assess your dedication, 100% involvement at work, how you will contribute towards the company’s goals if chosen & whether you are willing to work for the organisation 24/7 (as that is the phrase that is most often used to reiterate your availability to the company anytime, anywhere, anyhow!)
If Companies and Interviewers prefer questioning you about family status purely with good intent to know about your liabilities & who can be your emergency contact, then it makes total sense and comes under the purview of proper corporate policy and governance. But if the Interviewer is asking you a question about your ‘Relationship Status’ – then that is where it gets tricky and here is why!
How does your relationship status information help the interviewer or the organisation? If you are a woman, it is all the more uncomfortable to respond if you are single. Most interviewers put you in this situation purely out of curiosity as they wish to know personal details about your life that you may or may not be comfortable sharing. What makes it even worse is when you disclose your relationship status and the next thing you know is that you are rejected as “Unqualified” for the role or job you have applied for. And the Interviewer/HR never really discloses the reason why you have not been selected, even though you possess the right skills and expertise to get hired.
Again, WHY!? You are a candidate & you could be anyone in your personal life – Married, Single, Engaged, In a Live in Relationship, Single Mother/Father, Parent with Children, Divorcee, Bi-Sexual, Gay, Lesbian, In a Relationship or In an Open Relationship. Whatever your Relationship Status is has nothing to do with the role you have applied for. Many a times, a single woman may have been rejected from a job role because the interviewer ‘felt’ that in the future this single woman may take time off from work in order to get married and that will affect work. And that is why, they ask you a “silly question” on what your marriage plans are! Many women who have faced this may agree. Similarly, a married man/woman may not be chosen for a role if he/she has recently become a parent as chances are, that he/she may require leave of absence/day off to care for their infants.
WHY!? Why do companies or interviewers put candidates in stereotypical & biased boxes and assume something that never is the reason for them to fail as a professional? How does one’s relationship status change the work dynamics? How does the one simple & honest answer about your personal life impact your career, and whether you land the job or not? How does You being YOU in your personal life affect your work life?
As candidates, we have to be focussed and uncompromising enough to do 2 important things:
1. Politely question back the Interviewer on the reason behind a Relationship Status question asked and how does it impact the decision making of the organisation in choosing you. Be strong and bold, because chances are if you are the right fit for the role, you will still be chosen. And if the organisation is biased, you may get an immediate retaliation.
2. Secondly, if for whatever reasons you are not chosen for the role, request the Interviewer on the reason behind this and to better explain to you the cause without giving a cliched answer that 90% of recruiters use to snub questions from candidates seeking responses to the status of their candidature.
Ever faced a similar interview situation when you are questioned about your personal life that has nothing to do with the Job Interview itself or the skills set and expertise you possess? Dare to share your story with us in the comment section below?
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